Now available to only the most rabid fans of cheese (this means you), we are proud to present a special look behind the scenes of the Cheese-A-Thon. The time-honored traditions we take part in here reflect the dignity, the grandeur, and the odor of this great event.

Every cheese-a-thon begins on Cheese-a-thon Eve, with a trip to the cheese shop, of course! We have over the years tried many different shops but lately we have been settling on the Monroe Avenue Wegmans, also known as "MegaWeg," for their exceptional selections of cheeses and crackers. See figure 'A' for proper technique in picking out a shopping cart.

Once inside, we head directly for the cheese section. Just look at the plethora of cheese here! This is actually a photo of the "snooty cheese" section, where they have cheese names such as "Fontina Val D'Aosta," which roughly translates as "This tastes like Band-aids." Despite the questionable nature of some of the cheeses in the bin, Ryan had to restrain Mike from diving in headfirst and swimming around.

Witness the fiery passion of the cheese seeker. Our quest continues as we venture toward the staple cheeses section, which houses the popular cheeses such as cheddar, jack, muenster, and all the others typically found on posters on teenagers' walls. It is usually around this point that the others try to pull the "Limburger Joke" on Mike. It wasn't funny the first time.

After the staple cheeses are taken care of, it's time to head on over to the cracker section. Often overlooked in their importance, finding a good cracker to balance out your cheese is essential to having a robust Cheese-A-Thon experience. Personal favorites include Alex's pick of Club Crackers, the ever-popular Breton, and Carr's Not-quite-a-cookie-but-a-bit-too-tasty-for-a-cracker. Admirable mention is the biscuit that looks like it's from Wallace & Gromit (tastes like cardboard, sadly). Traditionally shunned crackers include Chicken-in-a-Biskit and bacon flavored, although we wouldn't be opposed to feeding them to alex.

Here we are at the checkout line. Look at that spread! It was almost too much for the conveyor belt to handle. After the auxiliary generator kicked in, we were rung out and ready to go! At this point we are trying to ignore how many dollars we actually just spent. But this is no time for doubts! As my Great-great-grandfriend once said, "quit your bellyaching and get me some havarti!"

Success! We emerge victorious with a cart full of cheese. Mike shows off some fresh mozzerella and colby jack, while ryan displays an informative pamphlet on lactose intolerance. Oh, and, uh, there's that other guy too.

Ryan coasts to victory, eager to get the cheese in cold refrigerated storage until the following evening.

So there you have it, a glimpse behind the curtain at the magic that is the cheese-a-thon. Next addition will include our process for selecting movies, which has been honed down in recent years to yield maximum satisfaction and cheesiness for our guests during the event. See you next time!